School Girl was invited to a sleepover at her BFF’s on Friday. I got to meet their mutual friend, and said friend’s dad, when I took her over. Her dad’s a Chicago guy; always a plus with us, and seems very friendly to boot. It’s looking good for a sleepover with all three of them “soon”. Sadly, I had been pretty ill most of the day Friday, so our Big Night Out was Mexican food and MMA at home.

Saturday was also a lost day. I think we went shopping after School Girl got home, but I don’t honestly remember. And yesterday…

Yesterday we took the puppy out for a walk at a local open space. Open Space parks here are a bit like forest preserves back in Illinois, except the open spaces here aren’t as developed. This particular one’s an old favorite of ours: easy to get to, fairly easy hiking (at least in the winter), and not too many other hikers. This park also allows bikes and horses, and I think we might bring the bikes this spring when the trails dry off. It was a beautiful day. Not too cold, bright screaming sunshine, and quiet. The puppy had a great time; School Girl did too, and wound up walking a surprisingly long way without complaint. I wasn’t feeling all that hot at the start of the hike, but I was a lot better by the time we got back to the car. It was good to get outside. Afterwards, we watched about 10 minutes worth of the Pro Bowl.

And today, everybody else seems to have what I had Friday. Happy start to the week…

Birthday Season usually starts about 4-5 weeks before School Girl’s birthday, and ends sometime around our “family day” 6 weeks later. I love it because we normally make a big deal about School Girl’s birthday. In the past it’s usually involved a party for her friends, a dinner of her choice and cake if her party’s not on her actual birthday, a ton of birthday phone calls, and presents. Oh, and a trip to the Most Expensive Teddy Bear Store in the Whole Damn World.

See the first thing on that list? That’s why I get queasy. For the past 2 years we’ve had birthday parties, here at home for a limited number of guests, with varying degrees of success. Last year was the toughest, as School Girl’s BFF couldn’t be there. She still had fun, as did the kids that were here. Of course, the first year had the Pinata From Hell. The one that should have come with a machete for easy opening. None of us, including the two adults at the party, could open the damn thing; I had to get out a kitchen knife and cut it open, making for some good times.

Most of School Girl’s family calls her for her birthday, either on the day or the day after. My parents and my sister (well, last year her daughters and School Girl did most of the talking), K’s brother’s wife, and C. M has called…I want to say twice, possibly? I don’t think it’s been any more times than that. Not on her birthday. I know it’s a difficult time for M. I do. But I think School Girl misses her on that day. Just to talk to her for a few minutes on any day is a big deal, and we try to encourage that. She’s never said that she’s upset when M doesn’t call, but sometimes I wonder.

This year C has said that she’d like to do something with School Girl. I’ve brought it up once or twice, and it’s not gotten a good reception. Part of it has to do with her party – she wants to have it on the Saturday after her birthday, so that she can have a longer party. I thought it would be good to visit C on that Saturday, and she’s fighting that. There is one other solution, but I need to talk to School Girl before I bring it up with everyone else involved.

An open-ended prompt this round, because it’s always interesting to see where each of us takes it:

Write about open adoption and the holiday season.

Previously written posts work, too.

I don’t think I’ve ever written specifically about our adoption and the holidays, so this will be a new one.

When I think of our daughter and the holidays, two celebrations stand out. One was her very first Xmas with our families; they all lived in NC at the time, and there were 4 other cousins that she hadn’t met to visit with. I won’t get into any specifics, as that usually tends to come back and bite me in the ass really hard, but two thoughts that I had still stick with me.

The first one, after listening to family members (on all sides) talk about how much this one reminded them of some family member or that family member: “We’ll never have that. Not ever.” Of course, the immediate thought after that was “I don’t see a down side to this right now”…

The second one was, “I’m sure one day you’ll feel almost like a grandmother to her too.”

The second celebration wound up being the beginning of an annual tradition with us. One year, not long before Xmas, C & J invited us down to their house for a visit. They have a beautiful house, and C loves Xmas with a wild uncontrolled passion, so the decorations were terrific and numerous. C had presents for School Girl from the two of them and M. She even made up a care package for Evil Dad and me; homemade sugared pecans, Chex mix, tea and an ornament. We all had a great time.

This year J won’t be there. We’ve talked about inviting C and M to our house this time. I think Evil Dad and School Girl might have already invited them. I think I’ll keep my feelings about that to myself.

Happy holidays.

I do. In all fairness (sorry), Pam does too, in an editor’s note at the top of the piece. I’ve lived in places like, and in fact very close to, West Virginia in my life. A very dear friend and her family live in West Virginia right now. They live in one of the more progressive parts of the state, but still…Living in rural America, you just never know. It’s sure as hell not California. Or even one of the bigger cities in the deep South.

Fairness would be a step up from what is right now. A big step. Equality is a good thing to aim for, but one step at a time.

If you live in West Virginia, or know someone who does, please consider joining Fairness WV. They’ve even got a Facebook group…