Aug
31
Since Evil Dad has been what we euphemistically call “between gigs”, he and I have been going for hikes during the week. It’s accomplished a lot of things: his back pain has eased up considerably, especially when we go for an hour or more; I feel stronger, and while I know damn well I haven’t lost an ounce, I’ve gained some muscle; and it’s been allowing us some time to talk when we don’t feel comfortable talking at home. We’re fortunate in that there are a lot of good places to get outside, at least 3 in less than 5 miles. One of them in particular holds a lot of memories for us.
On Friday we went up to the State Park With a Reservoir. When Chico was alive, we took him there a lot. One of the places we took him was pretty secluded; the majority of people who went there a) lived nearby and b) went with their dogs. Chico loved going there, and we went there pretty often, even when School Girl was a toddler. She took his leash for the first time out there.
It was all different this time. The end of the road was flooded, which wasn’t new – it floods there every time it rains for longer than 10 minutes. But the trail was gone. It was all overgrown with grasses and weeds, and it looked more like a deer trail than what it had been. Very disappointing. So we went to another trail that we hadn’t been on in ages.
It was also filled with memories. It was one of the first places we went when we moved here almost 10 years ago. Most of the trail’s paved and multi-use (we met an older couple on an awesome-looking tandem while we were out there), but there are some single track trails that lead down to the water’s edge. There were an awful lot of memories there too. It was overwhelming. We stayed long enough to get a decent workout, but not much more than that. My tear ducts got a bigger workout than anything else that day.
The next day, School Girl was up way past her bedtime. I heard what I thought was her crying and went upstairs.
“I don’t want to move. I miss Chico. I don’t want to leave him behind.”
So we cuddled in bed together and talked about death. How nobody knows exactly what happens when you die – when anyone dies. But that the people and animals we love will always be with us no matter where we go. We won’t be leaving him. He’ll be coming along too – like the cat that we lost before we moved to California, like the cats and dogs that my sister and I mourned when we were children. Like my grandparents, Evil Dad’s grandparents, and School Girl’s grandfather. We’ll miss them, but their memories will be along for the ride.
After what seemed like a long while, she finally went to sleep.
