Jul
7
This afternoon, after arriving home from a pretty damn fine playgroup (more about that in another post), I found another email from Heather with the latest Open Adoption Roundtable question.
Our third roundtable assignment was suggested by Lori. (If you have a topic you’d like to see kicked around, definitely let me know!) We’ve looked back at the beginning of our adoption journeys. We’ve talked about the fathers. Now we’re going to dream a little for the future. Share your wish list for your open adoption(s). Your list can be tempered by reality or packed with hopeful ideals. The choice is yours.
My wish list? Let’s see…
1. I wish that School Girl will feel the same way about our conjoined families in the future the way she does now. When we were working on the “family tree” assignment at school, she talked about the different parts of our family. “There’s your side, Mommy, and there’s Daddy’s side, and there’s my side.” But they’re all together, all joined and muddled up.
2. I wish that M would be in closer touch with School Girl. In a lot of ways, it’s more difficult for M, but School Girl wants her more now than when she was a baby – and things were easier.
3. I wish that I didn’t have to explain so many things to people who were given the opportunity to educate themselves about adoption in general and open adoption in particular, but chose for their own reasons not to do so.
4. Along those lines, I wish my parents would ask more about M’s parents. They have more in common than they think – and they might actually get along.
5. I wish that I hadn’t breathed a huge sigh of relief when I found out that 3 of the 6 kids at today’s playgroup (including School Girl) were adopted. I wish I hadn’t felt the need to do that at all – and I wish I didn’t feel that way every time she meets new kids.
6. I wish that M would send things just for School Girl. Her parents do that quite a bit – at least 3-4 times a year, sometimes for no reason at all – but she’s always given her presents in connection with visits.
That’s most of the things on the list. There are other things as well, but I’m feeling really inarticulate today so I might save them for another time. The biggest thing on my wish list is that our School Girl is a happy, strong, confident person when she grows up. Somebody who knows that she has a lot of people who love her and who want her to have the best life imaginable.
