May
13
Last weekend, in honor of School Girl having an awesome checkup/not biting the new dentist, I bought her It’s So Amazing! She has been asking questions about sex lately; as in “yeah, a baby grows in her mommy’s uterus, but how does the baby get there?” I felt like I needed some handholding, and I’ve heard good things about that series of books, so it came home with us. By the way, if you’re looking for a handholding device to talk about sex with a young-ish child, this one is highly recommended by Chez Evil.
Our reading and talking about different things in the book has led to some difficult conversations, at least for me. It talks about adoption in the most basic and general way. It also talks a little bit about miscarriage and infertility – again, in a very basic, generic way. School Girl had a lot of questions. Most of them I couldn’t answer; they had to do with why M decided to place her, why she and S didn’t raise her themselves, even what happened right after she was born. I don’t know any of those answers; she’ll have to ask M herself for those.
She also asked if she could have a brother or sister. As in, if Evil Dad and I were going to give her a brother or sister. Funny how the words “You’re not too old” are both easier and more painful to take coming from somebody so close to you. I haven’t had the heart to mention that part of our conversations to Evil Dad just yet.
The best part so far was when she declared that sex was weird. It makes me relieved that I have a few more years yet…We also talked about maybe not sharing what we’re talking about with her buddies at school, as it’s a parents’ job to talk to their own kids about sex. So we’ll see how far that goes.
You’re such a good mom. I don’t think I’m ready to answer indepth questions yet. I’m enjoying how naive my children are!
I’ve perused that book before, and it is a terrific tool for ‘the talk’, because it’s no nonsense, but is also done in a way that is easily understood without getting too complicated.
We’ve had some general talks with Brendan about such things (answering whatever questions he’s had, though thusfar those have been pretty minimal). We also got a copy of “It’s Perfectly Normal” ( http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal/Robie-H-Harris/e/9780763624330/?itm=1 ) for when the questions become more complicated or specific.
*tight hugs*
CP: Thank you! (((hugs))) In a lot of ways I think adoption, and talking about adoption, got School Girl to ask questions sooner. I really wasn’t ready for the whole “babies grow in a mother’s body” thing when that first happened – I think she was almost 4 at the time.
Deb: I’m thinking about buying that one as soon as I see it at the bookstore. It’s more in-depth than we can handle (yes, any of us) right now, but I’m thinking when she’s 9 or 10 we’ll try it. I just love how lots of things are presented, but it’s very matter-of-fact and to the point. (((hugs)))
We wound up augmenting The Talk with Planned Parenthood’s book, Let’s talk about S-E-X. I think we’re going to pick up “It’s Perfectly Normal” at some point, too.
That Planned Parenthood book sounded really good too. We went with It’s So Amazing! more because it was there than anything else – it was pretty easily available in 2 bookstores we haunt often. Our nearest PP office is a ways away, to be generous.
It’s Perfectly Normal is a ways away for us, I think. Maybe when she’s at the int. school – I think the age range is 10 and up, but not certain right now.
Actually, we found the PP book @ our local Barnes & Noble. Go figure. We liked it because it didn’t have any cutesy illustrations or talk down in any way. And yeah, Perfectly Normal looks like it’ll be good supplemental material in a year or so.
I’ve seen some sites recommend It’s So Amazing for 5-10, and I think I’d have to agree. I think if School Girl was a little older it wouldn’t have worked so well. IIRC, the Boy’s a little older than she is, so yeah, it might be a bit young for him.